there was a time i felt like i cared.sick and tired of all this bullshit.
if all you wanted to hear was that i failed,then fine.i fucking failed.as a student,as a daughter,as a captain,as a councilor,as a girlfriend,as a friend,as everything.i will admit it because i sometimes feel that way too.okay i feel it all the time.
if all you wanted to do was to break me until i curled up in a corner sobbing my eyes out,let me tell you,and let you gain some morbid satisfaction.yes,i am almost there.
i get home tired and weary from everything in school,punctuated only be ruthu,christu and bengah's liveliness and mug's humour.and i come home and face a war zone and judgement in front of a computer screen.i don't need this anymore.it's like ripping open an old wound and watching the blood well up in twisted satisfaction.i can't take this anymore and i'm fit to burst.i want to take a break but i can't because of everything's that happening.
so if you wanna judge me,go ahead.say what you fucking want.i can't take this anymore.
i don't need you,you pretentious jerk.i need to dig you out of everything i ever had in my life and throw you away in a bin and slam the lid shut and watch it burn in the incinerator.
and you.you're disgusting.
lumps: thanks for really knowing me and not pretending that you know what to do when i'm sad,cos you truly do know.i miss the times you and me spent together,it seemed so much easier then.
mug: thanks for just being there to lsiten to me complain and take the heat for me.you never know how much better that makes me feel.
bengah,christu,nuans: thanks for being the best team a girl could everh have.i'm sorry i didn't fulfil my duties sufficiently.
ruthu: thanks for being there dear.knowing you're going to be in my next class or meeting you in my next free period cheers me up a lot.
shu: thanks for being there to give me hugs when i need them.
it's goodbye to this place for now.
